4 days left.

better for nothing than coming up with bad news
the bitter something that consumed my yesterday and took up space within brain
I guess in a while I'll stop contemplating it
I guess in a while my teeth tighten and I'll smile for a little bit
The anger caught my throat gave weight to every single word
the issues loaded sentences I didn't mean to hurt
you really got the only conversation from my throat
I'm not saying much anything these days
wish I had a home
I'm moving today
to a place so far away
free of the main streets on a train line you wouldn't bother to take
not much changed
I'm working on this rock
pushing it up inclined city block
the bums all came to watch
they begged for change when I stopped
when I took my hand down to sift
through my pockets for a little cent
the rock came loose and smashed me flat
I didn't have time to react
the bums didn't call a medic
they just took my wallet
and the birds didn't soothe me with song
they just picked at my flesh till the rats came along
and by the morning I was just a stain
a mark on the pavement that you'd trample someday
didn't anything change
not much changed.

working on it

is it that things i'm doing are wrong
is this god's wrath that's belted upon
my back, is tired and worn I wish something would just work out oh
i wonder if i'm the target of some indiscrip
corporal punishment
I think if it was more evident
then i could relate my struggles and just accept it
and i think i am just weight dragging down in the lake
tripping up the currant as runs over my head
I'm pushing back the waves
but no ones going to save
me now.
If i could fathom why being distant and lonesome
was a solution for making you feel awesome
i would buy every perscription to apply that to inner working now
Because now my throat aches from the cigarette i can't put down
because depdency is really more than I can allow

untitled 01

In my life my affections will never be matched,
more like I'm diseased, my lover will step back.
I would like to think, that I'm someone would worth it to meet,
but isn't it funny that I'm not that in the least.
I getting used to ample rejection, toy spider shut my mouth from ear to ear,
because nothing is perfect and all the while nothing is real.
I been making decisions, but results turn out so queer,
My stomach is empty and turning but I've convinced myself that's the way to feel.
Eager smile gone apathetic, limp wrist hanging please call the medic.
An overdose a note your not getting that would make things too clear.